People live not only to breathe nor to eat. We live because of enormous reasons that sometimes even us can’t explain to ourselves. The biggest reason that we might have is that never-ending adventure of finding and clinging to happiness. Happiness of different kinds such as happiness from great achievements but whatever it is, one thing is for sure: we will take care of it and fight for it as much as we can. The greatest happiness we might have can be from people around us that makes us complete.
For some time now, I’ve been satisfied with my life. I got a decent job and an amazing family that I am very proud of but there’s still that last space in my self that is to be filled up… by someone.
I am not that perfect goody kind of guy. There’s a lot of time that I think I’m playing around with my responsibilities. I can spend hours on my computer at home playing games or watching movies like I have nothing else to do. I tend to do bad habits that I know I must get over with but I always fail to. Even though I know that I have to look after my self for more improvement, I usually tend to make excuses. I have decided to be a better person. Funny it may seem but I have made this decision a hundred times. Saying that I’ll be that and this to be the person that I want to be but it just doesn’t last. For many reasons, I am very complacent. But I’ll be praying to the hardest that I can that I’ll be doing it this time… for the most important reason that I can have.
I don’t know what came to me that I’ve been so optimistic about everything. It feels like that I’ve been renewed and I can do anything. I am so inspired that I am willing to do whatever it takes to become the worthy person. I know that I am not ordinary. Many say that I am special though my life had been a struggle to be an ordinary one but that doesn’t matter now. All I know is that I have to make tremendous effort to be stronger to win the GIFT that will fill up the empty slot in my heart.
But I don’t want to rush things either. The GIFT that I want is a dreamer. She’s incredibly powerful yet simple. Determined of that thing she really wants which I know she can achieve, I had this feeling that I want to be part of that success. I also want to share to her my way of faith as I embrace hers. I also want to make her laugh and see that smile as I do for I can’t help to laugh at her antics. Slowly but surely, her absence nulls my whole day as I’m getting used to that morning greeting and that bid of bye at dusk. I still don’t know what to do and when to do it, what to say and when to say it but I’ll try my best to have the shot at my piece of happiness. I know I am weak and so vulnerable but I have to hold on to this and stay positive. Leaving all the worries and diving into risks, I’ll be in a shouting distance to have my perfect time.
It’ll be hard journey I know. I’ll be tested but I should be strong for the simplest reason that I have this feeling that I won’t feel this happy again.
